<rant> Why is it that, even though it's not your problem, merely your friend ranting to you about her problems, you are often so affected. Why is it that you'll feel for your friend, pity your friend and then... in the end, stupidly also pity yourself, because the same or similar situation has happened to you, and like her, you also can't let go of that friend- no matter what it is that they've done to you.

Why is it, that as humans, we're so sensitive to all those around us. Why is it, that after so many years, certain things come back to haunt and you and ruin your mood and once again, demolish the little trust that you have built back up...

How is it so, that despite being amongst so many so-called friends, you can still feel lonely. Why is it that, even as your friends tease you, and you know they mean know harm, you still get worked up and sometimes end up crying?

How come no one ever stops to think about how it would feel to be on the receiving hand. Why is it that, as you grow up, instead of finding yourself more friends, you start to feel as if you're losing them one by one... and despite meeting new friends, not all of them are ever as good, none of them ever feel the same as the ones who have left you (except on the odd occasion!- I really love you Talyssa for being there for me! You rock girl!).

Why is it that your friends never seem to care about you anymore... they move on... find new friends, new boyfriends... then forget about you. How is that possible? How can someone that still means so much to you, just leave and not feel any sadness or regret. How come they never turn back so that it could be the way it was before?

Why do they never think about your feelings. Why must they talk behind your back and pretend that you're not there? How come life is so cruel? Is this all a test? For what? Finding true friendship? What if you never meet that really good friend you were meant to... due to some stupid reason... like ranting like now and just living in the past... </rant>

Okay... I suppose that's enough eh? I think it makes me get more worked up ><" So let's move on to something happy shall we... um... something like... my getting my Pandora friendship bracelet with CRASS! I love you too also!! Although (more semi-ranting) the colour seems to have gone funny? I swear I need to go take it back to Pandora to check that I'm not being paranoid and that it seriously started off like that. LOL*

What else is happy? Oh... my belated Christmas gifts from Caroline (I LOVE YOU, SI JEH!!)- the DBSK calendar is so much love! Sorry I never blogged about it, now I have XD I absolutely love LOVE January!! **hugs SU** Sucks that August wasn't Su or Jae **cries a little** but I guess I'm over it... I love the cover also!! I don't know what I'd do without this calendar! It makes the fangirl within me so happy!! I swear I was grinning like an idiot when it finally arrived XD Also from REANNE ( I L OVE YOU TOO, SIFU!!)- I so loved that letter paper you used!! Hello Kitty?! OMG! I WANT!! I especially love how it folded into a heart shape and also that Hello Kitty head!! Thanks so much for the earrings! Totally pretty! Will take a picture soon (speaking of which, I owe you pictures Lin, but I took them with my phone, then they wiped out... will take some again another time!!) and I also love the little purse?! It's so useful!! I can put all my membership cards in there, since some of them don't fit in my wallet anyway (stupid lack of card space! I swear, who only has ten (or less) cards?!)!!

Anyway, sorry for the emo-ness at the beginning. I swear I feel slightly better after that... like after the rant, that nice semi-happiness bit =) Makes me sort of smile ^^

Sorry to my f-list! I know I promised to be a better blogger and to post up more resources... I swear I will! I swear ><" One day **hides and hangs head in shame**